shrimpfur:

Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them

"suck my dick" ok

“bite me” hell yeah

"kiss my ass" sure

  • In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
  • In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
  • In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
  • Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
  • In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
  • In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
  • Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.
  • In high school they told me: There is no excuse for an absence. NONE.
  • In college I called a professor and said: I'm really, really, really sorry but it's -18 before windchill and I have to walk two miles to get to class.
  • The professor said: You stay inside and stay safe. Here's what we're reading today. I'll quiz you next week and if you can get a 90% I'll mark you present. I know you live off-campus, do you have food?
  • In high school they told me: Your advisor is just for academia, not personal problems.
  • In college my advisor called me: Are you okay? I haven't seen you in class in two weeks and I know you have depression. I can drop off your work if you'd like. Please call me and tell me how you're doing even if you can't get to class.
  • In high school they told me: Don't argue. You think this is bad, wait til college.
  • In college all but one of my professors said: You wanna argue, do it in a civil manner. We didn't get here today without 5000 years of healthy debate.
  • jathis:

    cartel:

    walking into the wrong class

    image

    THAT OWL LOOKS SO FUCKING

    BEFUDDLED

    Anonymously (or not) message me (3) things you want to know about me.

    Anonymous: how much did he donate

    I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that he did it ❤️

    Mitch just donated to the foundation we have set up for my cousin that was killed without me even saying a word about what today was …. Excuse me while I go bawl my eyes out beCAUSE HES SO PERFECT AND I CANT HANDLE IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

    Anonymous: Why didn't you rush

    Eh I don’t know, formal recruitment is a bitch haha and since i know people in the top three that Id choose between, I’m just gonna do spring rush probably cause it’s sooooo laid back

    Anonymous: What happened to the university of alabama?

    Someone sent out a threat about shooting up the campus - targeted mainly at the Greek life guys and girls. They’re on lockdown. Well they were last night, not sure if they still are